Each and every Britney Spears song has been ranked.. The world continues to count Britney out, yet she keeps coming back stronger than ever.
So let’s honour one of the most important musicians of the last 25 years by ranking down every song she’s ever recorded, from chart-topping smashes to underappreciated masterpieces like “E-Mail My Heart.”
Britney Spears, bitch. All hail the pop queen. This is a legend. The pioneer. The one and only Mrs. Oh, my God, Britney is a shambles. Even while the world tries to dismiss her as a fluke, she’s built up one of the all-time great pop songbooks. People still underestimate Britney’s creative effect because they are fixated on her looks or her clothes, despite the fact that we are over 25 years into the Britney Era. But, of all the things Britney Spears has bestowed onto the world, her music takes precedence.
So let’s toast to the music. Let’s break it down: there are 170 Britney songs in all, counting from bottom to top. The hits are in. The ambiguities. The failures. Deep cuts, B-sides, extra tracks, covers, duets, loosies, and soda commercials are all included in this collection. Her club hits are timeless. Her radio is broken. Her hidden riches. “Send My Heart an E-Mail.” It’s all there.
Since “…Baby One More Time” was her only single, I’ve been penning accolades about her amazing music as Rolling Stone’s resident Britney expert since the TRL days. Britney was one of those folks who used to tell me how wrong I was for praising her songs to the sky. (She laughed at me when I suggested that “Satisfaction” be released as a single!) Well, B, you were correct on that one.)
She is, nonetheless, one of the most important and inventive pop savants of all time, with a huge influence on how music sounds today. It’s been fascinating to watch her progress from MTV teen darling to Vegas diva to avant-disco pioneer over the years. She always comes back stronger than yesterday, no matter how many times she is dismissed as a joke.
People nowadays like debating Britney Spears’ scandals, controversies, and heroic struggle for independence. People want to pretend she’s some kind of innocent spectator on her own songs, so giving her credit for her real music is still controversial. Sorry, but considering her artistry’s freakishly continuous sicker-than-the-remix perfection, that’s just not plausible. She’s always come up with the most fizzy, splashy, and catchy pop melodies. I understand why you might object to the term “brilliance,” but I don’t share your concerns—she is, and always has been, on her own Mount Olympus of brilliance. She is deserving of being remembered as one of history’s most daring pop visionaries, not merely a celebrity case study.
The songs on this list aren’t ordered by commercial success; instead, they’re ranked by their Britney-ness. The beauty of it is that each fan would make their own list. You’ll almost certainly disagree, especially when it comes to “Dear Diary.” Some of these songs are classics, while others are complete flops, such as “E-Mail My Heart.” But, let’s be honest, they’re never dull. Britney isn’t one for monotony.
So many pretenders to her reign have come and gone. We’ll see more of them in the future. People keep expecting Britney to end her career. They can wait as long as they want. When people stop stating Britney is no longer relevant, I guess she is. But they aren’t going to do it. And she isn’t going to be. Britney Spears, thank you for these songs. Give me some more.